I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
