I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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