her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
