OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
