We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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