We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
