i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
