It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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