just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
