I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
