I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
