I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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