Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
