god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
