Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
