The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
