His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
