I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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