I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
smell my finger.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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