i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
