He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
