you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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