angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
nutella sex= disaster
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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