No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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