I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
