this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
