You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
