porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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