If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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