I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
did i walk over a car last night?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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