know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
