I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wannas sexs uuuuu
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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