im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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