With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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