You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
