For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You pole danced in your parka.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
tell me about the eggs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
