So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
