If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
