But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
