I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i now understand why vodka
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
