insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You can't just leave with hair like that
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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