i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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