3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
