okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
