I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
