If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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