Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
