WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
