dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
