That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
