He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
