..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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